Coffee and Self-Love?

“You have to love yourself to be able to love someone else” I have constantly heard that staying throughout my life but it isn't easy to love yourself in a judgmental society that idealizes photoshopped bodies and unachievable body ideals. It is easy to open up any social media and compare yourself with that girl who has a skinnier stomach than you or that guy that is way more buff than you will ever be. However, the journey of self love is a cycle of downfalls, tears, growth and perseverance. It is truly hard to fall in love with the body staring back at you in the mirror or learn that your alone time is as precious as being around 50 people. As I am in the journey of self- love I have picked up a few tips that have helped me learn to love myself more every day.

Lesson 1- Realizing the truth:

“It isn't about being the best or the prettiest in a room, it's about being the best you.” This saying has forever changed my mindset about self-love. Society tends to think that to love yourself, you have to be the prettiest or most fit individual in the world but the truth is that you have to be the best you. Reaching your full potential and being proud of the person you are can help raise your confidence a lot. We tend to think that others compare us like we compare ourselves but people only compare you to your old self, so show self growth and be the best you.

Also realize that people care way more about themselves than to judge you. When you enter a room, people are more concerned about how you see them than to pick apart every flaw that you have. If you radiate confidence then every person in that room will think you are the baddest bitch ever. I promise you that no one can see the little bump in your nose or the new pimple that has appeared, you are more than your flaws and if you own them then others will see them as perfection

Lesson 2- The idea of beauty is overrated

“What is considered beautiful”? If you were to ask a 100 people that question, each person would give a different description based on culture, preference and experience. The terms “conditionally beauty” and “unconditional beauty” have been created to label and restrict people into a category. Every person’s idea of beauty or perfection is so different so why do you have to fit a list of characteristics to find yourself beautiful?

You have one chance at life and you have a body that supports and sustains you so why hate it? If you believe that your face is beautiful then so will others. You will never be perfect to everyone and that is okay! The only person you have to impress is the one staring back at you in the mirror

Lesson 3- Okay you said all that but how do I achieve self-love

Self love is just a mindset. I am no expert to be talking about this because I am still at the start of the road but here are what has helped me

Words of affirmation- I know this is cliche but if you say something over and over again, you will be able to believe it and it becomes a mindset. Leave a post-it note full of affirmations around your mirror or on your desk and say them out loud to yourself. Say those words to yourself even if you do not believe them because it will become a part of your routine and it will make you see the beauty you hold. Always remember that beauty isn't just on the exterior but true beauty is inside. So start with a few positive words and add more as you feel more comfortable

Dancing in the mirror- Do it. You will see how much serotonin it gives you and how much beauty you hold. When you are truly happy and dancing with no care, you radiate positivity and happiness and that will make you 10 times more attractive to yourself. Go dance in the mirror before sleep and enjoy the small things in life. We are living on a rotating rock, it isn't that serious

Meditation and manifestation- Meditation can help you relax your body and release all the negative energy you hold. It is hard to make time for yourself and not be caught up in your phone so meditation helps you have at least 10 minutes to appreciate yourself and understand yourself and your body. Manifestation is the way to dream your future and work for the goals you want to achieve. Journaling your desires can hold you accountable and give you a sense of hope

Go grab a cup of coffee, get a journal and start to love yourself more and more every day. I promise you that it is worth it and you will see results, slowly but surely. You are worthy of your own love, you are beautiful and that smile looks great on you :)

• Armita Nahavandi