A Stresspresso, Please?
Sleepy eyes blink open, the alarm's snoozed, blanket tucked under the chin— refusing to let go.
Getting out, getting up, moving on.
But then comes the daily shot of the Stresspresso.
And bottom's up!
Confusion.
Everywhere I turn, all I get is worried. Worried for the potential future, stressing over what's gonna happen.
Colleges, programs, deadlines, assignments, exams... and the ineluctable fear of not knowing what the future beholds.
Oblivious to what may come.
Afraid of what's gonna happen.
Terrified of how I will survive.
So many decisions to make, gargantuan decisions that determine where my life goes next.
Where does my life go next?
That's what terrifies me— not knowing.
No guarantees. No compulsions.
Sometimes I hope that an angel comes in my dreams and tells me what I am supposed to do.
Just so that I don't have to choose.
Just so that I know what I have to do.
Just because there are so many options with no compulsions yet no guarantees.
The stresspresso works it's drastic wonder every day, with each sip the worry gnaws more and more becoming a part of my daily routine.
Talking helps, counselling helps, friends help, but I am left alone inside my head all day long with my stressful thoughts— worrying for what my future beholds.
A future that's already here.
If we really think of it; today is the day you have been working up to for all the past years of your existence.
The future you are still waiting for is now your present.
You're living your future.
Every day is something we have worked for, wished for, and rightfully earned.
If the universe extends infinitely in all directions, then no matter wherever you go— YOU ARE THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE.
Every instance is about you, revolves around you, and becomes about you.
If so many alternate realities exist, have you ever wondered why are you present in this particular one? Why out of all the ones did you choose to be here? Why not some other world where everything is blissful and happy?
This reality needs you to survive because you are its heart.
The reason why you are conscious and living all this is because your decisions, your problems, your words, your thoughts, and you matter, here.
So why not pause, breathe, and reflect?
The stresspresso I've been having daily seems unnecessary in a world I centre and gravitate.
Inconsequential because if this is the life I chose, it might've been the best one.
What's the point in stressing over things you can't control, over things that will somehow be alright at the end of the road.
Things that revolve around you and not the other way around.
Why waste today worrying and overthinking about a plausible future when one is already here?
Just live today like you want to live a future.
And tomorrow, everything will fall in line.
So, my overwhelming life, here's to you: Bottom's up!
~Mehak Fatima